Goodbye...

I've been wondering what Mrs Incredible is going to do in 2008! Well its been decided... I'm leaving her behind. Yes that's right, she feels that she doesn't want to fly, she can cope by herself, so we are going to part company. After years and years of being together I am leaving her behind and moving on forward.... Hebrews 12: 1-2 Therefore... let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

Who is in the way of your dreams...

Yesterday we were watching Shrek3 with the children. At the end of the movie, Arty, the real king of Far Far Away is talking to all the disgruntled creatures. They are all the villians. Arty talks to them all and asked them what they really wanted to be, what their dreams are. Then Arty says "the only person standing in your way is yourself". They can be what they want to be. Amazing, can't even get away with watching a kids movie without hearing the message for me again!

This is great...

What is the first step?

Ok so now Christmas is over. The book I read was all about 'being' not 'doing', the magazine I read had a huge article about 'being' not 'doing'. I feel like I'm being told something here!! I know what I need to 'be' but I don't want to do it. I'm fighting it again. I'm like this turtle hiding in his shell, from what? just what's out there! I know about the four boxes, I have sorted them all out and thrown them away or given them away as necessary. What is the next step? I don't believe it would be enough to just like myself, I think I need to LOVE MYSELF! Aaaaaaaaaaah.

How do I reconcile this with my Christian faith? Well the Bible says:

The entire law is summed up in a single command:
"Love your neighbor as yourself."Galatians 5:13-15

and also....

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture,
"Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right.James 2:7-9

...so what does "Loving your neighbour as yourself" mean? Well I guess that it means you can only love your neighbour as much as you love yourself. This is not a new year resolution, this is a fundamental realignment of who I am being. Instead of going around hating who I am, I'm going to love who I am. I don't even know how to begin. What have I got to lose? I can't go back, well I could, but why would I want to?? So I have to go on. What is the first step?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends You,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

Did not God create me? "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb." Wouldn't he be upset that I hate myself? Aren't I disrespecting His creation? I think He is pointing out things that offend Him!

Love myself...

More from Mrs Incredible's holiday....

I did notice that without Mrs Incredible I am much more anti-social that I used to be. I'm quite happy to sit quietly and let the world pass me by. Another thing I notice is that I am less tolerant of other people behaving badly and more able to set boundaries around this. I feel like i'm not being 'nice' but I'm being more honest to myself. Funny eh!

Mrs Incredible enjoys Christmas....

Today is Christmas Day. Usually a day that is stressful. Especially today as we have 12 people staying at our cottage. It is full to bursting with noisy people! Some people are great at helping and some are great at getting out of all the work! Families are great eh! As you know if you are reading this blog, I have been choosing to walk the tightrope! So I actually was feeling very anxious about Christmas and how to 'be' without being Mrs Incredible. Especially as its at our house blah blah blah. Anyway this morning I got up early because I wanted to and tidied up, because I wanted to. But then I didn't know how to deal with the rest of the work that needed doing! I looked out onto the verandah and here was a beanbag sitting outside in the sun, so I thought that would be the best place to put Mrs Incredible. I pictured her sitting there enjoying the sun, letting all the rush and bustle pass her by and left her there for the day. It was great. No pressure. I just pottered around doing my bits and letting other people do loads of stuff. What a pleasant change.....

The difference between 'doing' and 'being'.....

I'm reading this amazing book about a company in the states called "World Famous Pike Place Market". Its a business book, i've had it for ages but now that I'm reading it, it is kind of like the stuff that Mike says! (darn maybe he's right after all) Anyway here is a quote from it...

If you are still skeptical, just be a positive intention for an hour. Choose any intention you wish. Maybe it's a matter of being the most attentive parner you can be or being the best parent possible. You don't have to figure out how you can 'do' the attentive partner role or excellent parent hour. You don't need to read a book about improving communication with your partner or about more effective parenting. Don't pass go, don't collect $200. Declare your intention, don't exert effort on it - just be it - and your behaviours will follow from the intention. You will start a process that will increase your awareness of when you are being and when you are not being the intention. If you find you're not living your intention, you have an immediate opportunity to choose to differently.

Still more from the tightrope...

It does not matter how scared you are, just keep walking!

More lessons from the tightrope....

1. Its ok if you fall off, the main thing is to get back up there.


2. Don't look back, keep your eye on where you are going.


3. There is no point dragging all your baggage with you!

What am I hiding behind?

Yesterday I was in Spotlight buying some material for a project (as you do) and I noticed that the girl who was serving me had cut off her dreadlocks. I said to her, "didn't you used to have dreads?" and she said yes. And then we had an amazing conversation while she cut up my fabric! She told me how she had had a mini-breakdown and her life had kind of caved in around her, and finally as a result of all the change she decided to cut them off. I told her that I had seen her with the dreads and always thought that she was hiding behind them! She agreed. She said that when she cut them off she felt so exposed and that she definitely had been hiding behind them. It was just so cool having this conversation in the middle of Spotlight. What a sweetie she is. Anyway it suddenly hit me that I use my weight to hide behind. Of course I can't let myself get skinny, then everybody would be able to see who I really am! Gosh what a disaster..... or is it?

Lessons from the tightrope....

1. No one can carry you, you have to go by yourself.
2. It helps to have someone cheering from the sideline.
3. You have to throw away everything that holds you back.
4. Take one step at a time.
5. Beware of distractions from below you.

Choices

What is the difference between ‘walking the plank’ and ‘walking the tightrope’? CLARITY... knowing where you are going, even if you are terrified.

Today I choose to walk the tight rope!

Completing 2007: Baseline, Learnings, Vision

My theme for 2007: Chaotic: I felt like I stepping back into the driving seat of my life, for the first time ever, I have the possibility of a vision....

My achievements.... (what I learnt in italics)

• Got Reuben to school (I am my child's advocate)


• Helped Chrissy to find a new school (It's not one size fits all)


• Stepped back into the workforce (That I could do it)


• Let go of old habits and self-limited attitudes (That I'm not as nice a person as I thought I was, I don't have to be Mrs Incredible any more!)
  
• Allowed support in my life (Maybe I am an OK person)
  
• Went to Thailand (Its ok to have an adventure)


• Office admin system in place (It wasn't my strength area and I could still do it)


• Set up written policies for the company (Google is fantastic, I can fake it!)


• Developed the computer system (If you use a student to write a program, you are setting yourself up for exhaustion!)
  
• Made the decision to separate the office from the home (Been a change in the last few weeks, I think that David has found out that I feel strongly about it)


• Finance organised (It's really good having a good relationship with the bank manager - data is power)


• New Company set up (It was really easy - I was right all along)


• Kept the home running and took care of everyone (I don't have to do everything)
  
• Had a family holiday (It is better to go on holiday in the summer than the winter!!)


• Finished Coalgate (sometimes you have to put your foot down - didn't win popularity votes. It's fantastic to have a place to retreat)
  
• Made 37 Quilting projects (creativity keeps me sane)

My disappointments....

• My mobility (sometimes you get a rum deal - I'm still going to reach for my dreams)
  
• Difficult year with David (David is a man of integrity - it doesn't matter what he does - he never means to hurt me - I know that I'm safe with him.)


• Reuben - still have a special needs child (I can't make him live my version of reality)


• Didn't have a lot of fun this year (need to learn to laugh, fun is like the oil that greases the wheels - I want to feel the good things)


• I didn't cry more than twice this year (if you don't feel it comes out in other ways so you end up being sick)

My Outcomes for 2008:

• I want to fly next year in the areas of emotional self-expression


• Drive our business forward


• Have fun with my kids


• Allow David to love me
  
• Do some outdoor activities before my hip gets TOO bad!

My Themes for 2008:

• Creativity


• Have Wings can Fly.... flying!


• I want to be Real.... to myself and my family

My plan for Maintaining my High Energy in 2008:

1. Coaching


2. Working with dietician


3. Swimming


4. Stop being a perfectionist and a control freak!

My Plan for Developing my Capabilities in 2008:

1. Get the cleaner
2. Get some respite care
3. Keep on with Coaching

My Plan for being Remarkable in 2008:

1. Be remarkable at work
2. Be a remarkable woman
3. Be a remarkable wife!

My Key Business Relationships in 2008:

1. Bank Manager
2. Accountant
3. John O'Connell
4. Russell
5. David

My Key Personal Relationships in 2008:

1. Rochelle
2. Shenleigh
3. Jo
4. Charise

Who I will give to in 2008:

1. Boys Brigade
2. World Vision
3. School

My plan for a powerful start to 2008:

1. Employ new superhero
2. Write the sales process down
3. Work out a way to achieve consistency in Operations

I feel like I'm ready to start coaching now, I have cleared the space (thanks Mike) and I'm ready to move forward. Me living my life!

This guy needs CLARITY.....

This is why Mike is such a good coach.....

Two caterpillars were going for a walk one day.

They see a butterfly flying free and one caterpillar turned to the other and said:

”You’ll never get me up in one of those!”

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul


Mobile: 021 335 908
Skype: addsvalue2
email: addsvalue@xtra.co.nz

Emerging...

God@paradise.com

Hi there God,
It's me, Deb. Thanks for all the work you've been doing on me lately. I'm amazed at what You have acheived. Its awesome. I'm kinda scared, now that You have the box, but I know that You know what You are doing. Please can You look after me for a while, and keep me safe. I really want You to show me what to do next. Quite honestly though, I'm pretty tired from sorting out all my boxes while being supermum and working and also being sick, so I was hoping that You could give me a wee break. I really do want to keep moving forward, but I absolutely can't face any more dramas until after Christmas. Please please please can You just cover me with Your hand until the new year and I promise that I will keep on the journey after that! Thanks for everything.
I hope that You have a great birthday on Tuesday, and that all Your family remember You.
Hugs
deb

Giving away the box....

Good Morning Mike,
I just had to tell you that yesterday I was extremely grumpy!! I just could not see how to get rid of the box. So of course I was asking God about it, and suddenly I remembered. I had already given God the box. Probably for all of September I kept on reading Psalm 139, I just couldn’t get away from it, but it didn’t really do anything for me (I thought) except for the last verse that I kept on praying back to God. “Point out anything in me that offends You” haha very silly prayer to pray unless you mean it!! I realised that I had already given God the box. I’m so happy. Whew what a relief to not have to carry that anymore. Just jumped out of bed this morning and am ready to face the day. (After I had read the Psalm of course! Which makes way more sense now) Hurray! Thanks for being patient Mike.
Deb

Psalm 139 (New Living Translation)

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! .....
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Why does moving forward feel so bad?

Ok so I know that I have to get rid of the box, but why does it feel so bad? Why does it seem so scary? And how can I do it?? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Worry Wort!!

Session 10: Giving God the Box

GOAL 1: I love my fantastic and wonderful marriage with David! 1-6 – 8 - - 8- 10 – 10 – 9- 9
In the areas of: working with David & living and having a loving fun and communicative life together!

• We communicate, work together and have fun easily 8 – 10 - - 7 – 9 – 10- 7- 8
• David shows his love and appreciation to me with kisses, hugs and wrapped gifts 7-6 – 5 – 5 – 5- 9-9-
• We respect each others strengths weaknesses and opinions 10-10- - 8 – 10 – 10 – 10 -10
• We deal with conflict in a reasonable manner over a coffee and always come up with a solution 3-5- - 9 – 10 – 8 – 9- 9-
• We work really well together as a team with household chores 3-8.5- - 7 – 9 – 9 – 8 – 10 -
• We work really well together as a team with bringing up the kids 5-3- - 6 – 5 – 7 – 8 – 9 -
• We have absolute trust in each other 3.5-7- - 7- 10 – 10 – 10 – 10 -
• We absolutely support each other’s growth and well being 10-10 - -10- 10 – 10 – 10 - 10

GOAL 2: Success in the office! 3-2 - - 6 – 5- 8 – 10 – 10 -
In the areas of: Work

• A functioning Health & Safety policy in place 3.5-5- 8-10
• A functioning office administration system in place 4-5-7- 10
• David and Russell competent in working with the system 0-0- - 5 - 10
• I feel confident and competent! 7.75 - 7- -6 – 2 – 10 – 10 - 10
• Employment contract complete and ready – 9 - 9
• Employ the office superhero 9 – 7 -
• The office superhero is up to speed

GOAL 3: Home at last! 0-2 - -4 – 6 – 8 - 7
In the areas of: family, holidays & Fun!

We have a home separate from our business .5-5- - 6 – 5 – 6 – 7 - 7
We have commercial premises 1- - - 1 – 4 – 6 – 8 – 5 -


What I have to let go of this week:
1. Go to God and give him the box and let Him take care of it for you
2. Let go of the Household chores and give the family the opportunity

What you got out of this session: “It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel – I’ve got two choices – walk towards the light or just go back and stay – now I know what’s ahead I don’t want to stay here. When I hand over the box – I don’t know how to go forward from there.”

Ok, the fun is over...

Let me out now!

Silly sign....

The third box...

The last box to sort is the "It's not ok to have fun". My original picture of the Russian Doll still works for me for this one. As it is I feel like there are lots of layers to come off. I think they just need to be answered with the actual truth of the matter.

I wonder if I can just throw the box out without sorting through it!

to be continued....

I opened a box...

I decided to look inside the boxes! So I opened the one called "It's not ok to have dreams" and guess what? There was NOTHING inside, literally nothing. I was so surprised. Here was this narly old box, with a scary label on, but it was empty. So I'm going to fill up that ole box with dreams.... these are dreams that I will and can achieve in the next 8 weeks. Ok here goes....

1. Going to build a sandcastle on the beach
2. Going to write a story with Reuben every day of the holidays
3. Going to bake Christmas shortbread and give it to my friends.
4. Going to plant at least one new rose in my garden.
5. Going to lose 10kg in three months.
6. Going to look after my skin by putting moisturiser on every day.
7. Going to read at least 5 good books.
8. Going to visit the Art Gallery.
9. Going to cover my son's books with fancy covers for the new year.
10. Going to spend time working on my projects.
11. Going to clean out the garage and KEEP MY CAR IN IT.
12. Going to cook delicious meals for my family.
13. Going to have at least three families over for dinner over the holidays.
14. Going to reconnect with my friend Nicola.
15. Going to make my brother's birthday present.
16. Going to enjoy camping with my family.
17. Going to get some story tapes to make a long car journey more fun.
18. Going to read to my children.
19. Going to walk the dogs at least once a week instead of just sending the kids!
20. Going to paint my fingernails!

Gosh, that wasn't so hard! Here then are my 100 dreams.....
1. Do the Akaroa three-day walk
2. Eat cake in France
3. Touch the great wall of china
4. Visit with Dutch Blue in Holland
5. Learn to paint
6. Write a book about my story
7. Write a receipe book for kids
8. Learn to ride a motor bike
9. Collect more enamelware
10. Learn to swim!
11. Be happy in my skin
12. Be a fantastic grandmother
13. Go to Jo Seagar's Cooking School
14. Plant more flowers
15. Go to the Bay of Islands
16. Travel in a camper van
17. Learn to play the saxaphone
18. Sing in a choir
19. Stand on the top of a mountain
20. Beat David at chess
21. Visit the Greek Islands
22. Eat pizza in Italy
23. Go to Morocco
24. Take bibles to China
25. Visit the Amazon Jungle
26. Swim in the dead sea
27. Go to the beehive and watch parliment in session.
28. Learn to light a fire by rubbing sticks together
29. Learn to recognize native flora in the bush
30. Master foundation piecing (patchwork)
31. Go scuba diving in warm water
32. Go to Canada and visit SusanE
33. Walk the Milford track
34. Sleep under the stars
35. Learn to recognise the constellations
36. Learn the names of the planets
37. Teach boys how to cook
38. Run a drop in centre
39. Ride/walk the Otago Rail trail
40. Be a mentor to others
41. Going to build an enormous sandcastle on the beach
42. Going to write a story with Reuben every day of these holidays
43. Going to bake Christmas shortbread and give it to my friends.
44. Going to plant at least one new rose in my garden.
45. Going to lose 10kg in three months.
46. Going to look after my skin by putting moisturiser on every day.
47. Going to read at least 5 good books this summer.
48. Going to visit the Art Gallery.
49. Going to cover my son's books with fancy covers for the new year.
50. Going to spend time working on my projects.
51. Going to clean out the garage and KEEP MY CAR IN IT.
52. Going to cook delicious meals for my family.
53. Going to have at least three families over for dinner over the holidays.
54. Going to reconnect with my friend Nicola.
55. Going to make my brother's birthday present.
56. Going to enjoy camping with my family.
57. Going to get some story tapes to make a long car journey more fun.
58. Going to read to my children.
59. Going to walk the dogs at least once a week instead of just sending the kids!
60. Going to paint my fingernails!
61. Going to paint a picture that I'm proud of
62. Going to declutter the hall cupboard
63. Going to Akaroa to lie on the beach
64. Going to sell some of my work
65. Going to create art works with my patchwork
66. Going to always have fresh flowers in the house.
67. Going to buy a new duvet cover for my bed
68. Going to stop wearing ugly underwear!
69. Going to only buy clothes I really love
70. Going to master using my overlocker
71. Going to do a patchwork class every term
72. Going to have coffee with a friend every week.
73. Going to watch a movie with David every term.
74. Going to have family night every sunday.
75. Going to make the job roster work.
76. Going to get a new cleaner.
77. Going to motivate women to make a difference in their world
78. Going to master the ipod and download things I WANT to listen to.
79. Stop wearing "don't come near me" pjs
80. Hug David every day.
81. Manage our business and steer it forward.
82. Look after my team.
83. Know the names of the team's wifes/partners and children
84. Send our team a birthday card.
85. Acknowledge work well done.
86. Set structures in place for accountability in every area.
87. Make sure that I can always be relied on.
88. Have a clear vision for our company's future.
89. Always have a spare bed in our home.
90. Get a budget for our family.
91. Encourage my children to make presents for their friends.
92. Keep a scrapbook of all the special things that come my way.
93. Write poetry.
94. Find a way to express the feelings I have that others can understand.
95. Cry at sad movies.
96. Cry when I feel sad.
97. Find good jokes to tell the kids.
98. Write notes for the kid's lunchboxes, at least once a week.
99. Get Reuben eating fruit.
100. Love the way that God created me unique.

Quote from Mother Teresa

I found this letter on the internet (where else!) by Mother Teresa. I've never read much of her writings before, but I like some of the things she says here. I couldn't see a date for it.

"It is just this way with the differences between women and men. God has created each one of us, every human being, for greater things-- to love and to be loved. But why did God make some of us men and others women? Because a woman's love is one image of the love of God, and a man's love is another image of God's love. Both are created to love, but each in a different way."

The letter goes on to talk about families. But this first part I really liked.

How does God see me?

Three boxes

This morning in my session with Mike, i found three boxes. Three boxes hidden away deep in the part of my mind that I had not even realised was there.

The first one is called: "It's not ok to have dreams"

The second box was called "It's not ok to have fun"....

And the third box was called “It's not ok to be feminine”

What I have to let go of this week:
1. Go to ask God how he sees me.
2. Go to the Art Gallery
3. Complete the hundred dreams

The two trees...

This is the illustration that Mike gave of two trees. He said that before I was like the Oak, all stiff and I'm becoming like the willow (hopefully) much more flexible.

Decontamination..

This is the process I feel like coaching has been, gradually getting away all the layers to what the real issues are.

My Inspiring Vision at the beginning of December is...

I have achieved what I set out to do. I love my fantastic and wonderful marriage with David. I appreciate the uniqueness of David and give him space to develop into the human being God created him to be. I love to spend time with him, giving him my full attention. We talk, laugh and love together. We are physically affectionate with each other, happy to kiss or hug when ever we meet! David and I are intimate together. David and I have great communication and work out our differences with respect to how the other feels. I allow David to care for me and treat me as his princess. My heart skips when he enters the room. Our children know that they can count on either one of us to sort out their problems, and we won’t let them down. We will fight for them physically, spiritually and emotionally.
In the area of my work, I have complete ownership of the areas that I hold responsibility for. I am confident and competent. I am a success in all that I do. I am not just running to keep up with what’s going on, but I am driving the business forward, giving direction and inspiration to others around me.
In the area of my home, I have reclaimed 10 Earl Street as a sanctuary for our family. We come in the gate and are at home. We have complete privacy. Our home is clean, tidy and de-cluttered. There is structure and organisation. We have fun together as family, we laugh and play together. We support each other, we feel each other’s pain and we understand that each member is a work in progress.

HOPE

End of a crap week

Thank goodness this week is over. Blah blah blah. At least I'm not loosing my mind I am actually sick! Whew :) Have a great weekend.

Silence!

Aaaarrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

And not a bloody oasis in sight....

So many feelings in one day...

I think it was easier being Mrs Incredible. Now there are so many feelings. Today I felt...

1. happy when Reuben went off to school without crying and gave me a thumbs up!
2. sorry for Chrissy when her new plate hurt.
3. guilt that Chrissy had to pay $120 to replace it.
4. angry with J* for letting us down.
5. sad for J* for her situation.
6. frustrated with J* for his work ethics.
7. cross with J* for not blowing the whistle (they are all J's today!!!)
8. touched by handprints of World Vision Sponsored Child
9. yuk by watching behaviour of our dogs (now I know why they are called Bitches)
10. proud and scared talking to another parent about how their child treated my son (first time I've ever confronted a parent in 14 1/2 years of parenting)
11. scared and overwhelmed by all these feelings!

and the worst part is that I only have a few more sessions to go. How am I going to get myself back together in time to go off by myself?

Meanwhile back in the real world....

Onions have layers, ogres have layers....

Now that I have written all this stuff down, I feel like Shrek, all my layers have come off and I feel vulnerable. Its weird. When I first started the coaching process I was so sarcastic. I just did my homework and crossed it off my list. It didn't really effect me, although some positive changes did happen in my life. I don't know if it was that or Mike's persistence, but gradually the layers have come off, not all, but a lot. It's like Mrs Incredible in her day clothes! Its actually been fortunate that I've been sick today because I've had lots of time by myself to think about it. This is the scarey bit, what will people think of me without my mask? should I care? And the BIGGIE... what happens if I cry??

Documenting the journey

Hi Mike
I spent the afternoon making a new blog : http://unmaskingmrsincredible.blogspot.com/ with all of the pictures and emails in it. It’s an amazing journey and I’m proud of myself. Along the way I found the “Writing my Vision” document which i have never done. So I’m going to make that my homework this week. Thanks for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Deb

What happened yesterday...

Well I'm sick today and having the day in bed. It is such a luxury! I will have to get up when the kids come home, but in the meantime me and the dogs and at least one cat are enjoying the laziness! It is so nice just lying in bed that I think it is worth having a wicked headache and killer sore throat. Plus cause my throat is so sore I can't eat so its a nice enforced diet!! I had a major coaching session with Mike yesterday. My husband, David, had Mike as a coach first and Mike and I didn't exactly hit it off! So its kind of weird that he is my coach now. At first I thought he was a total fruitcake, a complete nutter, but actually he's one smart cookie. Anyway one of my goals was to "love my fantastic and wonderful marriage with David". Well at the point when I started coaching I was thinking, just staying married to David would be a miracle, but now I can see that I am going to have a fantastic and wonderful marriage to David. Recently I have seen that I was trying (quite successfully) to be Mrs Incredible and its not that helpful! It was kind of a coping mechanism for my life and worked to a degree, but the downside is that Mrs Incredible doesn't feel things. This is good (she thinks) for all the pain in her life, but it also means she isn't able to feel love and affection from others. Also she is wrong about the pain, she just ends up carrying it around all the time and thinks that noone can see it. So now Mrs Incredible has taken off her mask and looks around at her amazing life and is able to feel it. Ironically she now must feel the bad things too (like being sick) but even that is way way better than carrying around all the accumulated pain from years of not feeling things. Mrs Incredible is not going to save the world now, but realise that she can dream dreams and create a life for her and her family. Cool eh! Thanks Mike.

20 Dreams

Why not dream?? Mike dared me to write 100 hundred dreams. Well here's the first installment! Who knows how these could happen, but if we don't dream they WONT.So here is my first 20...
1. Do the Akaroa three-day walk
2. Eat cake in France
3. Touch the great wall of china
4. Visit with Dutch Blue in Holland
5. Learn to paint
6. Write a book about my story
7. Write a receipe book for kids
8. Learn to ride a motor bike
9. Collect more enamelware
10. Loose 20 kgs!
11. Be happy in my skin
12. Be a fantastic grandmother
13. Go to Jo Seagar's Cooking School
14. Plant more flowers
15. Go to the Bay of Islands
16. Travel in a camper van
17. Learn to play the saxaphone
18. Sing in a choir
19. Stand on the top of a mountain
20. Beat David at chess

Re: It's Just my fantastic life

Thanks Deb!

Nice work getting stuck into your actions!

And twenty is a good place to start with your dreams! Keep going – keep looking for your dreams!

……..and all credit to you taking on a fruitcake and creating miracles in your life!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

Its just my fantastic life...

Hi Deb,

Great to touch base with you today.

I’m satisfied that you are taking care of yourself and that you have successfully worked your way through your own transition process…from how your life used to be, to how it’s going to be from now on.

Yes you were tired like you’d just had an operation – probably because you were not only the patient on the table, you were also the surgeon doing the operation!

You told me that you would do two actions:
write a debrief of your process and the possibilities that are now available for you
write 100 dreams for you

Enjoy yourself, look for ways to bed down your new reality, share yourself – especially with Dave, feel your feelings and sing your songs!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

Another poster...

When I reached the Top,
I Realized it’s Not Actually Scary!

It’s just My Fantastic Life
and all I have to be.. is
Me!

Re: Quilt I Made

Dear Deb,

Your quilt is beautiful.

Amazing how catharsis works.

All great art comes from pain and suffering.

I play flute.

The night my dad died, our band had a gig in a church.

I went straight from his death bed to the church, everything was set up and we played.

I’ve never ever played such beautiful music before or since that night. My grief just flowed out and filled the church and the people listening….but it was oh, so, so beautiful.

I know you know your quilt is a metaphor…..and part of your catharsis.

And your sharing of your coaching process is amazing.

For someone so visual, your use of language is articulous marvelouso!

You have left the pit….and you are no longer afraid of the pit.

You can have your feelings now – they are nothing to be scared of.

They are no longer a burden, not there for you to carry around, but there simply to be felt.

They are in your quilt, in your funny little pictures on your emails, in your humor and in your words.

You are emotionally intelligent.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

Mrs Incredible is Safe!

Hi Deb,

Great work today.

Time now to be easy on yourself – stay quiet and peaceful for the rest of the day.

Call me if you want.

Call me tomorrow for sure!

Well done Deb!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

And posters....
At the Bottom of the Pit, seeing stairs reaching up to the top, feeling the weight, the resignation and the tiredness of carrying the HEAVY pack, you let me Hold the pack for you, you stepped out free and light – told me what it was like and then you walked back into the pack, felt the WEIGHT, the no possibility, the Resignation and then let me lift it again for you to walk out there free again. You took ten steps up, took your time and then came back again to the pack, you bore its weight and felt what it felt like and then you stepped out again - took ten steps up again and then another ten – I asked you if you would like to go ten ahead or go back to the bottom – you chose ten ahead and when you reached there, you chose to keep going – your fear was a 9 but your desire was a 10! You walked on until you reached the top, you got
to solid ground and you laid in the grass and it was good.
You told me that Mrs Incredible left her mask in the pit. I asked what she looked like and you told me she looked just like you.

_________________

From Now On,
The Past has Nothing
To Do with your Future!

The Journey

Session 9: Mrs Incredible feels the pain

Quilt for a grey day...

Here is the posting from my quilting blog about this time:

Works in progress...
I'm feeling so tired tonight. This week just seems to be going to never end!! Last night we had all our painting team to our home in Coalgate and fed them all up to thank them for the great year of work! Some of them went jebboating on the Rakaia which they really really enjoyed. It was a lot of work though, don't know if I want to do that again, especially after a full on working week. Then today David did a 75 km cycle race and James (11) did a 10 km kids Mini-bays. They did great I am so proud of them!Chrissy has been busy today dancing for her end of year production. Two shows today, and two tomorrow. Reuben is self-destructing again, he is just very tired I think. Hopefully we can get through this weekend without a major meltdown!!I've been working with a personal coach for about 10 weeks now and am starting to make some headway I think. The trouble is that it is getting harder and harder! It was easy to make the big glaringly-obvious changes, but the real challenging ones are much much harder! Mike is great though (his business is called "Clarity"), I've never met him, he doesn't even live in the same island as me, but we talk on the phone. The thing about a coach is that they don't actually tell you what to do, but as you talk, it kind of becomes obvious to you. Right now I am trying to be real about how I feel about things which is I think one of my life-long failings. I like to think that I am Mrs Incredible and that nothing fazes me, but the reality is that of course I feel sad sometimes, ok a LOT of times!!! especially lately with all the Reuben stuff. Anyway I haven't worked out how to change yet, but the first step is to realise that you have to eh!I'm going to make a quilt to show how I feel, I've got some grey fabrics and I want to do a mosaic pattern with golden grouting. I think that we can see the beauty in the difficult times of our lives and that is the golden grouting!! Anyway aren't we all just works in progress?? As my favourite saying this year is "Lucky we aren't perfect either"!

An email I sent to Mike...

Hi Mike, here is the address for my blog http://somebodysmum.blogspot.com/ if you click on it you will see the quilt I made for a grey day!!
Talk to you later.
Deb :)

Unexamined beliefs up for evaluation...

Hi Deb,

I can see you have been thinking!

Once again, your subconscious will be doing all the hard work for you.

The insights and line of thinking that you have been doing indicates that you are opening your previously un-examined beliefs up for re-evaluation.

Your old unexamined beliefs are some of the obstacles for you having a fantastic marriage and relationship with David…..or any man for that matter!

You are simply aligning yourself with your goals.

I look forward to our session!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

Still thinking....

Thinking.... by deb

That’s one scarey email you sent me Mike.....

Re: those annoying emotions...

Hi Deb,

I’ll reply in blue!

Hi Mike,
Last night I went to a memorial service for one of my best friends, Sally, who died in February of breast cancer. I thought I would have a little vent to you (because I can!!). Yes you are right – you can! This venting is called “Catharsis” – it’s the act of drawing, writing, communicating about, or creating some art work, drama or dance that allows you to resolve your emotions and really accept your Being. I notice that you also had a connection with the little twelve year old who recently was hit by the bus….there has been some significant grief for you to deal with this year. Thank you for bringing it out in the open.

I was thinking how I don’t cry, and I blame my dad and my husband because my dad used to say that women only cry to get their own way (even when I was a child) and David HATES tears and walks off and thinks its manipulation. So I only cry a couple of times a year. This is significant for you to notice. To protect men from feeling manipulated, you need to withhold your tears from them. It appears that you even withhold your tears from yourself, given you only cry a couple of times a year. I can think of a number of reasons for you to cry:
v One of your best friends, Sally passing on
v One of your other friends child passing on
v Rubin suffering and you are feeling helpless
v The stress of having your home and business in the same place
v Given you have been brought up to suppress your emotions, then there would be all this residual unexpressed emotions connected to all of your traumatic and not so traumatic life experiences – these are all set up like carriages on a train and when you eome up with present time trauma – even if it’s a little one – the train stops suddenly and the carriages go Bump,Bump, Bump and crash into each other – your emotions amplify and are often expressed inappropriately to the intensity of the situation

- Hey! – there’s plenty of reasons for you to cry!

Anyway I think I need to take responsibility for my own feelings and not act like other people expect me to, Great Insight! How are you going to do that?

maybe this is part of what I realised about always being Mrs Incredible. Notice how important for the superheroes to hide their identity. Mr’s Incredible’s mask is hiding lots more than simply career angst!

I don’t really think the way that I bottle them up is very healthy for me, I agree. but I have developed such a “I’m coping” exterior that even when I feel VERY SAD I don’t let anyone see that. You probably hide that from yourself most days too!


I don’t know how I can actually change this, but I thought maybe by telling you, I am at least admitting how i feel. You are right. This is a significant step forward.

Mrs Incredible advances and takes off her mask and reveals her tears rolling down her cheeks – she screams out – “Up with this I will Not Put!!!!” and throws herself on the couch and starts howling and screaming for all the pain and suffering she has bottled up, hidden from others and herself. She rolls herself up into the foetal position, screaming into her knees. Eventually she stretches out, just like the baby in the picture below, alternatively howling and flailing her arms interspersed with deep convulsive sobs.

She cries for lost friends, lost dreams, lost opportunities…..she howls at past injustices, she unleashes her despair, her pain, her sufferening……and every now and then, she flips into moments of fierce rage, only to fall back into deep sobbing.

….and some time later, it doesn’t matter how long, these things have their own time……she lies there exhausted….spent….empty. Her mind is free of thought – her feelings are expressed, out in the open – especially to her.

She knows in herself, she has retrieved an important part of herself. She really doesn’t care anymore about what anyone thinks.

And she will lie there, for as long as it takes…and when she is ready, she will rise…..a new and refreshed woman…..emotionally intelligent in a new and powerful way….freed by this experience, her subconscious mind will note this Catharsis and make the necessary changes for her. She knows her old life is over…..and a new life begins.


I think that is why I use little pictures, because they show it for me. So here is one for how I feel about losing Sally....You don’t need these pictures any more to express how you feel. At least not be the only way you express your feelings. You sharing your feelings with me – especially you sharing how you notice yourself restraining yourself to protect others, is part of your Catharsis – your resolution, your re-evaluation of your childhood strategies that have been running your life and how little you can express your sadness and grief.

And this is a great picture. This reminds us of our humanity. Our vulnerability. Our pain, our loss, our deep needs.


I’m tired of being Mrs Incredible...you can make a powerful choice not to play this game. What would be a game worth playing? Which female role model do you want to identify with? Who inspires you with her own brand of superhero? For me for example, I admire Woopie Goldberg and Bette Midler – something about those Jewish gals allows them to fully express themselves over a huge range of emotional states! Who inspires you? Whose emotional range would you like to have?

Those annoying emotions....

Hi Mike,
Last night I went to a memorial service for one of my best friends, Sally, who died in February of breast cancer. I thought I would have a little vent to you (because I can!!). I was thinking how I don’t cry, and I blame my dad and my husband because my dad used to say that women only cry to get their own way (even when I was a child) and David HATES tears and walks off and thinks its manipulation. So I only cry a couple of times a year. Anyway I think I need to take responsibility for my own feelings and not act like other people expect me to, maybe this is part of what I realised about always being Mrs Incredible. I don’t really think the way that I bottle them up is very healthy for me, but I have developed such a “I’m coping” exterior that even when I feel VERY SAD I don’t let anyone see that. I don’t know how I can actually change this, but I thought maybe by telling you, I am at least admitting how i feel. I think that is why I use little pictures, because they show it for me. So here is one for how I feel about losing Sally....


I’m tired of being Mrs Incredible...

Deb :)

Re the ghost in the machine...

thanks Mike, I needed a bit of perspective. (and a hug probably!) Cheers deb :)

The ghost in the machine....

Hi Deb,

I forgot to tell you I have a background in needs analysis when instructions don’t get the results people want.

The main thing for you is to focus on what it is that you really want from your system.

Then problems of the interfacing of the operators with the system, become just that. And when you can see that, you can make adjustments that cater to individual operator’s needs and wants.

Let me know how it pans out.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity. Coaching with heart and Soul

And another poster

What is Really Important to Me?

That my System Works.
It produces Results, and Everyone loves using it!

More from session 8

Hi Deb,

Neat session!

Neat session!

Your insights this week are the foundations for your results for your next week!

And this week is going to be a challenge.

I suggest you change it from “the worst week for my family” into something like: “the most challenging and rewarding week for our family!”

I also suggest that you guys take care of yourselves as well.

And you are demonstrating to me that you are indeed doing just that.

Your process is so profound – please paste up the attached posters somewhere – they are indeed the insights that will help your conscious mind catch up with all the magic you are producing in your life!

Well done Deb for this week – some really great thinking and your mind set is really strong.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul

And some posters....

I can see that it’s Going
to be a Lot Better than
I could have Ever Imagined!

________________

I caught myself Judging my Revelation and my Insights!
“How could you even think of something like that?”

________________

When I first started I thought:
“How can I make this happen?”
….and I went on with it , Trusting in the Process. And now it’s Only Session 8 and I can see that it’s going to be So Much More than
I could have Imagined – so much Better!
I’m so glad I didn’t put a Limit on it!”

Session 8

Hi Deb,

Phew!.....Great great session!!

Fantastic insights – and you are only at session 8!!

Here’s your actions for this week:

ACTIONS.
1. Get doctor to write letter for Ruben
2. Find somewhere to put those posters
3. Tidy my environment
4. Confirm Monday off
5. Vitamins twice a day – for me & Dave
6. Put employment contracts to one side this week
7. Put communication audit on hold

The Best is yet to come!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.

Here is my princess hat...

This is the picture I sent Mike to show that I realised I wanted to be treated like a princess and that that is ok...

Stepping over the purple fence...

Hi Deb,

I was wanting to call you today, but things got a little out of hand.

Great news about you feeling good about yourself.

I reckon Purple suits all sorts of women and even good Christian women deserve to feel wonderful about themselves.

This is about you stepping outside of your comfort zone, and judging by your choice of font in your email, you are indeed doing just that.

And life outside of the comfort zone?

You will still guide yourself by your beliefs, values and morals.

You’ll just be feeling better about yourself, you will have more power and influence, you will probably be taken more seriously and you might even get your own way more often.

That could be hard to handle, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon.

Please call me if you get the heeby jeebies about it all!

Go Girl – Go!

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy

Stepping out...

Great stuff Deb!

Once again, a lot of our feelings have to do with fear – and that’s the critical voice again trying to keep you in your comfort zone.

You going out to work and doing a great job in spite of your negative self talk is just like your first picture. Those dogs aren’t real most of the time – they are just in the cat’s imagination – you know what they say: Be careful you don’t let the cat out of the bag!!

The cat is out!

And your beautiful feelings of angst, dismay and sometimes even confusion, it’s all about you being out of your box, doing stuff your ctritical voice is telling you to go back inside and don’t carry on with any more of this nonsence!

The colour purple, you feeling great, you looking wonderful – it’s about you recreating yourself anew – of course the critical voice hates it – of course you will be having feelings, but isn’t it amazing?!! You are an adult now and your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place – Deb is in the house!!!!

Thank you for your acknowledgment – my son came home so happy yesterday – he went to sleep really peacefully and he woke up this morning, keen to go to school – I didn’t have to use high persuasion to get him out of bed – no tantrums, moaning or attitudes. I’m so pleased with the school…so far!

Your appointment with the Psychologist must be coming up soon. Let me know how you go.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy

Feeling braver..

Hi Mike, I was looking for a picture to send you and I think this one fits the bill nicely! I feel a bit like this and a bit like this....

But I went shopping with my friend Rochelle and brought three RED tops and one PURPLE top (I have a clear memory of my mum saying that good Christian girls don’t wear purple and I don’t think I’ve worn it since) and I feel AMAZING! Today I am wearing a RED sleeveless dress over my black capris and I feel SEXY! Shhh don’t tell anyone J

I’m so pleased that your son is happy at school. It is fantastic. We really are our children’s advocates, and sometimes that means we have to keep knocking on doors till we find the right one. Congratulations on having the courage to follow what your hearts were saying.

Hugs
Deb :)

More posters from Mike...

I’m the
Best Mother
in the World!
______________
I look Fabulous
And
I Feel Fabulous!
______________
I’m Absolutely
Confident & Competent
in my Work!
______________
The Price of
Freedom is
Eternal Vigilance!
______________
“I’ve put on my Suit of Armour –
I’m marching off to war – because I know
the Truth About Me!”
______________
I’m a Black Belt
in
Forgiveness!

Session 7

Hi Deb,

Thanks for catching me up with where you are at today!

And congratulations for biting the bullet and sorting the bank out! – another surprise! You were so organized and were able to quickly put your hand on every document they required – go figure! The critical voice definitely isn’t talking about reality!

You said you had a busy week this week – and knowing that your amazing session last week will have a big impact on your subconscious re-evaluating your stories about yourself, I am content to simply send you the three outrageous statements and request you put them up on the wall where you can see them every now and then. That should drive the critical voice out into the open! Don’t’ forget to look for what it is saying – “The Price Of Freedom Is Eternal Vigilance!”

Please also find attached your worksheet with some of your great insights.

Once again, please remember, your unconscious mind is processing your great work last week, so don’t be surprised if you notice new behaviours and attitudes emerging. The trick is to stay aware consciously of what’s going on. You have created some space for Freedom and the more aware of the opportunities to choose, the better for you – even though you are so busy!

Hope Rubin is doing great – I suspect he is going through his own process – maybe the Discovery School is a better option. – By the way… – I almost forgot!

– My son had his first day at his new school and it was better than I even could have imagined. At morning tea, he sat down with a group of Downes Syndrome adolescents, a couple of years older – and one of his school mates from his old school told me that they were his friends! My son has friends at his new school!!!! (Gush!)

I had a chat with the deputy principle, who suggested that I let my son settle in by himself – she also outlined that even though they were all trained professionals, they didn’t have the answers all the time, and they were willing to be challenged and engaged in dialogue – I am amazed that they use such language. I’m impressed. And my son came home happy and was keen to go back to school this morning.

Deb – there are places that are great for our kids. Keep looking – your son’s behaviour might because he’s not in a good environment and he’s trying to tell you that.

I’ll see you next Monday @ 11am.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul


Mobile: 021 335 908
Skype: addsvalue2
email: addsvalue@xtra.co.nz

Another poster..

The Critical Voice’s Job is to Sow
Seeds of Self Doubt!

Keeping on going...

Hi Deb,

Talk about a courageous session on your part!

Thank you for your honesty!

Please find your actions below.

1. Meet with Leanne and explain your business is expanding and you need to increase the overdraft
2. I’m absolutely confident and competent in my work
3. I look fabulous and I feel fabulous
4. I’m the best mother in the world!
5. Say things five times a day
6. Communication Audit
7. Do the communication audit with the kids
8. Review Infrastructure check list
9. Get employment contracts sorted -Ring everyone and get them in the office and nail it all at once
10. Work with D & R for advert out on Wed
11. Send email to Discovery School


Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul


Mobile: 021 335 908
Skype: addsvalue2
email: addsvalue@xtra.co.nz

Getting my jobs done....

ü Just been out for lunch with David
ü Talked to him about being accountable for tidying outside
ü Practiced closing the conversation loop
ü Done audit of myself

Hehe, not letting the grass grow under my feet this week!! Told you was going to make momentum

Cheers
Deb ;)

Session 6

Hi Deb,

Looks like life is throwing itself at you – and in the face of that, you have been making great progress in all of your goal areas!

Well Done!

Great work with all your actions from last week! You have kept all your plates up in the air and your projects have moved forwards!

Here are your actions for this week:
1. Talk with Russ and John O’connell
2. get a new accountant for advice
3. Follow his advice
4. Do the Communication Audit with David
5. To include feedback loop in your communication to make sure he heard what you said.
6. Make our date this week
7. Talk with Dave about sharing jobs outside
8. Talk with Dave about taking kids out for special one on one time
9. Do the communication audit with the kids
10. Do an audit of where I’m up to Mk
11. Set work targets for this week Mk
12. Review Infrastructure check list


Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul


Mobile: 021 335 908
Skype: addsvalue2
email: addsvalue@xtra.co.nz

Audit of deb's progress in the office

Hi Mike, this was a great exercise! I’m not so far behind that I can’t catch up and I’ve clearly identified for myself what I need to do.
Hurray.

Thanks for inspiring me to do this.

Deb :)


Audit of Deb’s Progress in Office

September
ð Health and Safety Policy... Signed 31/10/07

October
ð System to identify hazards... Form in job folders
ð Employment contract... Done, need to get signed
ð Advert for paper... Done (need to get from David for folder)
ð Application Form... Done
ð Job description... Done (Foreman, Tradesman, Apprentice, Accounts and Admin
ð Completion of Harry... Done by Jo, task on track

November
ð Finish section 1: Enviromark
ð Phone Interview... Done
ð Face to face interview
ð Induction process... Done, working well
ð Roll out of Harry through team... 6/11/07 Team Training
ð Employ person for new office position
ð Move office from home

December
ð Building Act
ð Fire Act
ð Smoke free act
ð Three month evaluation of team
ð Performance review process
ð Team Dashboard
ð Monitor Harry Process

January
ð Resource Management Act
ð Team development plan

February
ð Hazardous Substances Act
ð Bi-monthly Catch-up with team
ð Disciplinary Process

March
ð Complete Stage 1: Enviromark Process
ð Termination of Employment
ð Pay Review

Moving to the next level

Hi Deb,

We did take your goals up to the next level – well done!

One of the ways you did this was to look at taking the hand brake you have on romance and passion!

It appears to me that what is taking you up to the next level of velocity is not to plant your foot, but to take off your handbrake!

We discussed and explored:
¨ Your religious upbringing
¨ Your wardrobe
¨ Your feelings
¨ The power of ceremonial garb on your own personal state
¨ How you are powerfully attractive the weight you are
¨ How your weight is a strategy to protect men from having wicked thoughts
¨ How you are a naturally sexy, mysterious and fun loving woman

Man – what a handbrake!

So in our discussion, we raised your awareness of the things that stand in your way.

After the session, I found a scribbled message signed by your Being.

It read:

Dear Deb (my precious human!),

I heard you say how you need to do something to make yourself more mysterious to your husband, that you felt that after years of marriage you felt like you both knew every bit of each other.

You might be interested to know that you already are a mystery to your husband already!

In fact, every woman is a mystery to every man, the truth be known, no matter how long they have known each other!

And if we were to be really honest: you are a mystery to yourself!

Why – you have no idea of who you even are – every day can be an adventurous discovery of who indeed you are and as well, who you aren’t!

Right now, you are in the process of re-inventing yourself! As is David.

This is a discovery that gets you to live outside of your comfort zone – and that means that you are no longer investing time, effort and money to try and keep yourself the same safe old self as you were yesterday.

You are now a dangerous, exciting, unpredictable and mysterious woman around whom people really love to be.

This is your true nature – change is your natural state as is mystery – you are a reflection of the natural order of things – mysterious, exciting, alive, constantly changing, playful and beautiful.

And your beauty?

Does the wave crashing down on the sandy beach stop and think: “Oops! - am I being too passionate? – better tone it down a bit!”

Does the flower in springtime, reaching out in it’s blossoming fullness, stop and think: ”Oops! I’m being too beautiful – better fade myself a bit!”

Just know you have it all there girl – it’s just about letting it be!

Loving regards,

Your Being

Wow!

Wasn’t that nice!

Sending you a letter – you must be special!

Well, let’s get back to your actions:

Reinstate the love letter – strike at will!
Create Romance, Mystery and Passion (after that letter, maybe you should substitute “create” with “allow”.)
Wear the ceremonial garb – be aware of the effect it has on you and David
Clean out all of the frump and the past out of your wardrobe.
Go shopping with Rochelle. Tell her you want to express Romance, mystery & Passion in your life.
Ring the business premises for sale and get Dave to follow up.

You told me that what you got out of the session was:

“I have achieved momemtum again – I was worried I was going to slow down or stop – but I know I’m moving forward!”

Great work Deb – thank you for going for it in your session – you showed great courage and openness today!

- looks like achieving your goals are more about what you are going to let go of rather than what efforts you need to put in!

so this process could end up with you achieving more by doing less – that sounds pretty smart to me!

Let me know how things go with Ruben.

Warm regards,

Mike Kennedy
Clarity.
Coaching with heart and soul


Mobile: 021 335 908
Skype: addsvalue2
email: addsvalue@xtra.co.nz

A light-bulb moment for deb...

The one RESPONSIBLE

is the one who does the job...

The one ACCOUNTABLE
is the one who makes sure
the job gets done!

Burn those granny undies....

This was the picture I sent to Mike after this session where we talked about feeling sexy is from the inside!!